I see friends all around me “settling down”, getting married, having kids, getting pets, purchasing homes and I have two reactions: “Aw, good for them!” and “Ick!” Both reactions are very sincerely felt. I do rejoice with them that they have found the love of their life, expressed that love by having kids and fulfilled their dream of having a place to raise that family. My “ick” reaction is when I consider such a path for myself.
Don’t get me wrong! After all, when I visit them it’s good to have a comfortable place to stay and kids to play with and spoil. :)
I believe the things listed above to be good things, but I’m either not ready for them or something because I don’t actually desire them for myself. My married friends think me weird and tell me it will pass. “Once the right person comes along, you’ll forget you ever thought this way.” Regardless of the “right person coming along”, I have to admit that the idea of settling down into a comfortable life takes my breath away; in fact, I almost literally go into a panic attack. I don’t think I’m meant for such a mindless life of comfort. Whenever I reach a point of comfort, I get bored. I lose sight of Christ and instead fill my time with vanities that sap my life-blood. While I know many people seek to go through life numbed in order to avoid sorrow, pain and discomfort (some people call it the "American Dream"), I’ve learned that is no way to live.
No matter how much you insulate yourself from reality, the world still exists. The world is in need. I’ve a commission to fulfill. I’m only one, and the task is intimidating, to say the least. But, I’ve caught desperate glimpses of the alternative and it’s not even an option.
My God is big. I refuse to settle. Maybe others will, too.
Don’t get me wrong! After all, when I visit them it’s good to have a comfortable place to stay and kids to play with and spoil. :)
I believe the things listed above to be good things, but I’m either not ready for them or something because I don’t actually desire them for myself. My married friends think me weird and tell me it will pass. “Once the right person comes along, you’ll forget you ever thought this way.” Regardless of the “right person coming along”, I have to admit that the idea of settling down into a comfortable life takes my breath away; in fact, I almost literally go into a panic attack. I don’t think I’m meant for such a mindless life of comfort. Whenever I reach a point of comfort, I get bored. I lose sight of Christ and instead fill my time with vanities that sap my life-blood. While I know many people seek to go through life numbed in order to avoid sorrow, pain and discomfort (some people call it the "American Dream"), I’ve learned that is no way to live.
No matter how much you insulate yourself from reality, the world still exists. The world is in need. I’ve a commission to fulfill. I’m only one, and the task is intimidating, to say the least. But, I’ve caught desperate glimpses of the alternative and it’s not even an option.
My God is big. I refuse to settle. Maybe others will, too.
1 comment:
I'll have to read this again to be sure, but I think it is....deep...brutally honest...wonderfully self-reflective...wow
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