I keep finding dog hair everywhere...

Today I feel driven to write and instead of making it to work on time, I sat myself down to do just that.

I keep finding dog hair on my clothes - a phrase that came to mind as I dressed because I keep finding my Dougie's hairs everywhere and it's been over a week since I saw him last.
The thought arose that that's how sin is. You can't get away with dabbling in sinful acts without finding a few "hairs" left behind even once you've repented and been washed by the blood of the Lamb. Siempre quedan rastros.

I was also thinking of the whole gay thing. Dear Christian people who I believe are riddled with guilt and to get rid of that guilt of they reason that their nature must not be wrong. God must have made them this way. I remember having that thought when my mind was consumed by dark gothic images and even a growing desire to "go to the dark side". I came to the same conclusion after agonizing over the wrongness of what seemed to be my nature. It wasn't something I consciously developed or even seemed to have a choice in. Yet, somehow, so many years later, I feel actually delivered from that. It even seems trivial now. How arrogant of me to trivialize past trials. It demeans the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.

I wonder if homosexual tendencies are the same. I'm not trivializing them - though, I admit it's not my own struggle. I remember a few months ago I overheard someone speaking of a close friend, "And then one day, she fell in love with a woman and moved back east." She was so shocked at the revelation that her friend would do that. She'd never had such tendencies. She'd had several satisfying relationships with men. She'd enjoyed heterosexual sex. And one day, "she fell in love with a woman". Does that make her a lesbian? Does that make her bi-sexual? Was it her nature all along and she never acknowledged it till that One came into her life? Was it her choice?

The issue is deep and honestly it takes me way out of my zone of comfort and understanding. Many Christians tie it up in a neat little bundle of "it's an abomination". I've been in that camp. I'm realizing that doesn't help anyone. It creates divides. I don't think Jesus would call them an abomination. I think Jesus would love them. I think Jesus wants to satisfy us. I think Jesus wants to teach us his truth about love.

I want to learn.