I don't want to tweet

Today during a webinar at work, I was informed that I must join as many social networks as possible to keep up with what's going on or be left in the dust. In fact, the presenter (salesman) commanded us to join Twitter and follow him. If Christ's ministry were present-day, would that line replace "pick up your cross and follow me"?

Even as I consider such a possibility, I sigh wishing for simpler times. Our planet might not be taken over by robots, but mass communication sure has taken it's hold. Is that a sign of the apocalypse?

I admit that I use internet social networking. By that means I'm able to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world. How cool is that? Before when people moved across the globe they were rarely heard from again. And it wasn't even that long ago. I didn't even have an email address until I was a college freshman. Leaving Chile after high school was traumatic because I didn't know when and if I'd get to see my lifelong friends again. Today, we've found each other through facebook. Even people I've barely met are my friends on facebook. In fact, the only registered follower of this blog is someone I've spent less than a day with.

It's interesting how humans connect. We seek connections everywhere: at work, at play, at school, church, bars, dance clubs, etc. And yet, I don't see society becoming more connected. Oh, I see them buying the latest technology to "stay connected", updating profiles on numerous sites to keep everyone updated on their lives. I was entertained a while back when I removed my "single" status to see the deluge of inquiries from friends and acquaintances. They were all disappointed to find out I only removed it because I was tired of getting personal ads.

The irony I find is that all those applications that are supposed to make our lives easier and more convenient don't really make our lives any better. Many times those sites are just another platform for gossipy interactions. I find many times I need to "not" check up on my friends because my motives aren't pure. Many times it's just not edifying. As a friend confessed to me, "Sometimes I get so down on myself because I see all these cool things everyone else is doing, how many more friends they have or that their comments are always wittier than mine, even that their silly quiz scores are better than mine. How silly!" And yet, we all fall into those thoughts. I can hear King Solomon say, "It's all vanity!"

So, I've determined to facebook less. At first, I considered to fast and just not update my status, photos, etc. I tend to be extremist in my initial reactions. Then, I bumped into a long-lost relative at a recent wedding. She told me how much she enjoyed "keeping up" with what I was doing through my pictures and status updates. Hm... Well, I do enjoy keeping up with others, too!

I guess the problems come when I seek validation through the virtual interactions. They can never replace the intimacy, messiness, and growth you get from real-life relationships. One shouldn't seek to replace the other.

And since I've got all I can handle right now, I refuse to tweet.

What's a girl to do?

I really don’t mind being single. Ok, sometimes I do, but it seems to me that sometimes, many times, my single state bothers those around me more than it bothers me. Christians, especially those to whom I am related, seem to be in such a muddle about what to do with Christian singles, especially with the ladies, like my sister and me.

We went to a cousin’s wedding this weekend. What a joy to celebrate the couple’s covenant of marriage. And we got to catch up with family who we might get to see but once a year. My aunt’s first words, once she was done rushing around and joined our table at the reception, were “Girls, I have someone you need to meet. He could work for either one.” Here we are supposed to act bashful, yet inquisitive, I guess. I’m still figuring out a proper response for such conversations as they become more and more common. Apparently, my knee-jerk reaction comments are not appropriate (I am learning to control them). And I have to admit to a bit of curiosity at the mention of an eligible young man. Heh. Ok, let the games begin.

“On what grounds was he recommended?”

My sister inquired, “Is he Mexican and does his name start with an E? If so, Erin can have him.” (She’s not racist, she’s just had two strikes against those qualifications.)

My aunt, puzzled, “He is from Mexico so you have Spanish in common. I don’t remember his name. It’s kind of complicated.”

My sister-in-law stood up for me, “Why should Erin be left with Sarah’s cast-offs?”

My aunt, trying to help her cause, “Oh, we considered him for your cousin, but there was no interest on either side.”

Mom: “In Chile they would say there’s no “feeling”.

Me: “So he’s twice cast-off. Is he good-looking, at least?”

My brother: “I thought so.” We all whirled toward him.

Sister-in-law: “How would you know?”

My brother: “I met him earlier. We spoke Spanish.”

The conversation degraded from there, though my mom and aunt were sure to point him out the rest of the afternoon. Thankfully, neither insisted on taking us over to meet him. However, it felt just like a scene out of Pride and Prejudice where the mums are pointing out the good qualities to the daughters as the eligible bachelors walk by.

This was when my sister’s brilliance came through to save us. “There is no reason to keep pointing him out to us unless you intend for us to approach him. You’ve taught us to be righteous women who don’t chase after boys and now you urge us to initiate something with a stranger?”

“Well, no.”

“Well, telling us about someone is pretty useless. If you think we’d make a good match, tell him. Why should we get our hopes up if he’s not even shown enough interest to come over and introduce himself?”

In the end, I did meet him without my family's help. We exchanged a few words in Spanish about the silly dancing and that was it.

Apparently, there was no “feeling”.

All from a game of Taboo...

During a recent game of Taboo, a “friend” used the following as a clue: “Erin’s outlook on life”. The word was “negative” and not only did my teammates (yes, plural) guess it correctly, I had only met them a few hours previously. Now that gives a girl something to think about.

I don’t want to be considered negative. I much prefer the label of “cynical-idealist”, though I avoid labels as a general rule. I’ve been called everything from dreamer to negative. Yes, that is quite a range – which explains the oxymoron of my preferred “label”.

I admit that I have a cynical outlook on life which I’d like to fool myself is actually a realistic point of view. Simultaneously, way deep down, I cling to hope and the possibility that I may be wrong this time and everything will turn out as it should. I only share that side when I feel REALLY comfortable and safe or just compelled to be that vulnerable. It can be a very soft, gooey center when I let loose and most are just bewildered when it seeps through. Since that fateful game of Taboo, I’ve become quite convicted on my crusty, cynical outlook. Mentally, I’ve tried to justify it with the whole idealist side – hope and possibilities are good, right? But, it’s not working.

Then, several days ago, I read this by Oswald Chambers: “Jesus Christ never trusted human nature, yet He was never cynical, never suspicious, because He trusted absolutely in what He could do for human nature.”

So, cynicism is not reality. It is a lack of faith?? Ouch! I do want my attitude to be that of Christ. This is going to be tough.

Can I handle my idealism without the protection of a cynical cover? The hope and possibilities are limitless when they are based on the power of the Holy Spirit. This is also known as faith.

Can I let go of my bitter cynicism and see God’s Spirit at work in people, instead? That would shake my whole outlook. It would change how I pray. It would change how I consider people. It would change how I joke.

But, that will change my personality, won’t it? I’m afraid I’ll lose part of my identity.
Isn’t that the point of being renewed?

Ok, but must I give up my wit, too? I do like my wit. Can’t I still appreciate the ironies of life once I let go of the bitter cynicism?

Hmm… While I figure that one out, I’ll just be distrustful of man and ever hopeful in the power of God to change lives.