I'm always blown away when I see Christ at work. This week has been awesome!
It didn't startout great. Monday things at work went haywire when I informed my boss that I was taking 1 1/2 days more than the 2 days she had told me I could take to go visit my family for Christmas. The situation escalated to involve her boss, my motives were questioned, I blurted that I hadn't been happy working there for over a year, that I had done my best despite finding an office environment so restrictive and I didn't feel my efforts were appreciated, etc... etc... They were shocked and tried to cover by asking me to change my flight to comply with their original concession of 2 days because my "presence during year-end processing was invaluable". I said I couldn't afford it. We were in a stalemate until they decided we should "part ways" Tuesday afternoon. Apparently, my presence wasn't as invaluable as they had said or I had thought.
I have had very painful "parting of ways" at previous jobs, but this one wasn't. I was ready. In fact, I had packed up my things while waiting for the 4:00 meeting that decided my fate. At first, I wondered at such a finality over a day and a half extra of vacation. I was prepared to get written up for that. It seemed too trivial to be willing to lose my job, but on the flip side, it seemed too trivial to lose an "invaluable" employee of 5 years. I realized there was something deeper going on. I realized that I would have lost so much more if I had given in and stayed. I realized that in spite of having a pounding headache for two days, I was at peace. God hadn't turned his back. I hadn't slipped through his fingers.
God had prepared me with loving community even just the few days leading up to the "parting". Saturday I had tea with amazing Christian women who are encouraging and uplifting, if a bit sarcastic. Sunday, Pastor Dave preached about being light and not letting the darkness get the better of us. As I prayed that God would shine in and through me, I saw myself jumping into loving arms of light. I got to be an encouragement to some new teens at church that don't know what a loving home is. That evening, I got to laugh with a boisterous church staff over a white elephant gift exchange. Monday night, even with a headache, I enjoyed soothing tea with a loving friend who reminded me that I am valued for who I am not just what I do.
When I sat across from my boss (silent) and her boss (the voice telling me we should part ways), I felt a little prick of hurt that they didn't want me. And then, I didn't care. Christ suffered much worse rejection when all he offered was love. I realized my identity as child of light wasn't even within reach of smudging by those ladies. They wanted me to feel bad for what I had said, but I had spoken truth. I remembered something that Ayn Rand wrote (I know, weird), "Don't ever get angry at a man for stating the truth." Speaking truth spreads light. Darkness doesn't like to give way to light.
I stood up, collected my things and walked out. I refused to be bullied. I refused to let darkness beat my light. I launched myself into arms of light ready to catch me.
